Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Consider This My Changing Pt. 3

I don't understand myself at times... It seems as though I am smarter than I seem but at the same time I may be smarter than my own good. Also at times I restrain myself from stating my opinion when the truth is... I always want my say. As well, nowadays I've been analytical about everything, analyzing every little thing and big thing in life... is this a sign? I mean correct me if I'm wrong but is this a sign of things to come? Why I'm asking these questions... Is beyond me but you know what, its good to get answers from time to time... even if that answer benefits me positively or negatively...


To be honest My birthday is coming in a weeks time. I'm turning the ever so sweet age of sixteen and from what I know, I believe that 16 is the transition age from teen to adult. Usually when it comes to birthdays, I'm very nonchalant with my age... but with this one particular age, 16... it strikes me as interesting. 16 is like i said the transition age from teen to adult but, I feel as though I have made that transition a long time ago. Not in the sense that I act like an adult but in terms of maturity I feel that way. I know that within myself, I have changed drastically over the past 16 years... I went from the shy one, to the loud obnoxious one and now I am transitioning to the mature one. It's kind of odd because I'm still in high school and all my friends are well... not as mature as I am. Now don't get me wrong that doesn't make me think otherwise towards them but at times I feel as though... I haven't really met someone who I can truly connect with as a friend. maybe that's just high school for me. Even my cousin said that high school isn't for anyone and when I was told that... I realized that high school isn't for me. I can only laugh at so many jokes and other stuff for so long but the truth of the matter is... I can't really react the same as before... Maybe that IS a sign of the forecoming...

Now I sit in front of my computer, typing on this blog and considering the following... what will my life be now, knowing how I am transitioning? Will I change completely or will I change relatively... these questions are the questions that I have yet to find an answer for. As I reminisce on my computer, I realize that I have grown quite drastically... Even my family is starting to notice. I'm more knowledgeable about life and I feel as though I am ready to take on real life challenges. Problem is, my one flaw now is that i'm too serious... and they're right, I am. I need to relax and have some fun because 16 will never come around twice... Truth of the matter is... I'm growing up... and I can't change that.

Jacob Anthony Conde

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Consider This My Changing Pt. 2

this song probably represents the good and the bad in all emotions... in other words, the perfect song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoSL_qayMCc

Consider This My Changing

Thor

i am currently eating some LIFE brand cereal, and it is quite enjoyable.

10:23pmMe

dude i'm letting you know in advance

by next year, i am NOT going to be as immature

i'm getting sick of it

10:23pmThor

that's what you said two years ago

10:24pmMe

this time i'm getting sick of it actually

then again when i'm with you, its hard to resist

you're like a fucking enabler

10:24pmThor

:o

:I

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FUCK YOU!

10:25pmMe

see

immature much

10:25pmThor

ok

i do not appreciate that comment, that comment i do not appreciate, no i DO NOT like green eggs and ham!

10:26pmMe

...

10:26pmThor

hahahahahah

dude

it's our teenage years, don't throw the fun away

10:27pmMe

oh no i'll keep the fun

but i also want to grow up man

10:28pmThor

but WHY?

10:28pmMe

i'm turning 16 in a week. for me thats scary

10:28pmThor

why?

i'm turning 17 in two weeks, and i'm so happy i'm pissing rainbows

10:28pmMe

16 is supposed to be the transition age from teen to adult

and it scares me

10:28pmThor

in what fucking society is that?

10:28pmMe

one of my biggest fears is growing old

10:29pmThor

for me, that age is 21

the age you can legally drink in every country on earth

10:29pmMe

see usually in times like this, i would be having more fun

10:29pmThor

16 is nothing

10:29pmMe

but i feel like embracing it

10:30pmThor

16 is OH I CAN LEARN TO DRIVE, BUT I STILL GOTTA GO TO HIGH SCHOOL

10:30pmMe

yeah true

brb imma watch entourage

10:31pmThor

:I

you're gonna leave the fucking computer?

10:31pmMe

no

i'm watching it ON the computer

10:31pmThor

oh

10:31pmMe

the wonders of tv sites

10:31pmThor

well shrink down your facebook window and watch entourage on the side

keep talking to me

10:32pmMe

the wonder of tabs

10:32pmThor

TA DA!!!!!

10:38pmThor

holy shit

9 minute long trailer

?

10:38pmMe

yep

it looks fucking amazingly badass

10:38pmThor

it does

i'm only a minute in and i wanna see it

10:39pmMe

i'll let you watch

10:39pmThor

mk

don't fucking log off

10:39pmMe

yeah yeah

10:47pmThor

my god

it looks amazing

10:47pmMe

yeah i know

10:48pmThor

holy shit that guy's scorpion?

10:48pmMe

yep

10:48pmThor

oh fuck

i just came

10:48pmMe

not on the table carlos

10:49pmThor

hahaha

all the characters look awesome

baraka just looks badass

10:49pmMe

sub zero looks kinda fucked up

reptile is weird

baraka and johnny cage fight was fucking awesome

10:49pmThor

reptile has an actual syndrome

10:50pmMe

hahahaha one more cigar puff and he said fuck it

10:50pmThor

harlequin babies are real

yeah

i was surprised johnny cage gave up

10:50pmMe

well even in the game he is portrayed as a bitch

but he was like fuck it haha

10:51pmThor

yeah

then

poof

head's gone

what time are you gonna be at school tomorrow?

10:51pmMe

i don't know

10:52pmThor

imma be that at around 8

10:52pmMe

main foyer

10:53pmThor

k

so what else is up?

10:53pmMe

kinda busy i'm almost done entourage

10:54pmThor

hm

wow

that 8 minute movie was the entire thing.

10:54pmMe

yep

10:54pmThor

it's not a teaser

10:54pmMe

yeah it is

10:55pmThor

well that's a bitch

it's not an actual movie

10:55pmMe

because the movie hasn't actually been green lighted by a studio yet

it is a movie

it has legit actors

it needs a studio though

10:55pmThor

ok

10:57pmMe

wait lemme do some research

10:59pmMe

the movie seems to be studio lit but they got lawsuit troubles

10:59pmThor

guh

stupid fucking lawyer

11:00pmMe

i just realized, i try to have a legit convo and you talk like THAT all the time

11:00pmThor

legit convo?

11:01pmMe

as in NOT ANSWERING with a swear word

then again thats just you

so i'll get used to it

11:01pmThor

oh

don't patronize me

asshole

11:02pmMe

mmhmm.

even you have to admit, i don't swear much on internet

whoa...

i just realized

as much as you hate to hear these upcoming words

but... i think i'm actually growing up

11:03pmThor

great

i'm losing you

11:03pmMe

i don't know man. for example i don't find a lot of stuff funny anymore

family guy for one

11:04pmThor

you still fine DEEZ NUTZ to be funny

11:04pmMe

i don't find it funny, i just find it fun to say

11:04pmThor

yeah, i bet you fuckin laughed at that, didn't you

11:04pmMe

i swear on my mother i didn't

11:04pmThor

mk

i'm watching bride of chucky

11:04pmMe

usually i would mad hate on a movie and not give it a thorough analysis

like at first i was like BRIDE OF CHUCKY WAS FUCKING BAD, but now i'm like, it is a bit dumb of them to make this but then again its chucky so you can't really not enjoy it

ok i'm starting to creep myself out now

11:05pmThor

exactly

11:05pmMe

i don't like this change

11:06pmThor

plus my uncle is in it

11:06pmMe

i knw

11:07pmMe

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0060029/

damn good resume i have to admit

the guy is in a hit tv series now

11:07pmThor

yup

he's actually moved to hollywood recently

11:08pmMe

nominated for 2 gemini's

brb

11:14pmMe

dude can i be straight up honest with you

usually i try and leave this out of our convos because i know you

but to be honest... i'm scared of actually growing up and dying

11:15pmThor

hey man

we all are

if i had a fear, it would be of growing old and useless

but you know what?

we're fucking teenagers

we have all the time in the world, right now

the grapes are ripe, and we can pick any one we want.

11:16pmMe

yeah...

i don't know man, for me its a transition age and i'm scared

11:17pmThor

hey

i turned 16

NOTHING HAPPENS

it's kind of like what happens when you turn 4,5,6,7,8,9, or 10

you think things will suddenly be different and you will have a different perspective on things, but actually, it's just a fucking number.

11:18pmMe

well i don't know

maybe its my personal perspective on life that is changing right now

i see things differently as i did before

i'm more analytical now

11:19pmThor

hmm

well then

take some time to yourself, and just fuck off for a bit

work bothering you? take some fuck off time

parents bitch? take some fuck off time

it all works, if you take that time, and make it your own, then you can enjoy things more clearly

11:21pmMe

well to be honest i recently let some people in my life go

for example connor mcguinness, you (your initials that is) etc...

11:21pmThor

so?

fuck those people

they are nothing to you

think about it this way

how much happier would you be with taylor dalby in your life?

if you fell for her, you'd soon find that she's a shallow, hollow person with a head full of mush.

11:22pmMe

yeah

i realized that and thats why i let her go

dude i also realized that some of the people i hanged with all have masks

my former friend aaron talked to me about always kicking someone's ass and being the biggest and best fighter in masset

but in reality he wanted to kill himself after a couple of arguements

his excuse is that he is sick of it

the first time i tried to stop him but the second time i realized how weak he is

11:24pmThor

you know what?

surround yourself with people who's company you enjoy, and people who mean something to you.

things will look up, dude.

just look at that fucking nice sunshine.

11:25pmMe

you, nicole legara, aleah, RJ, DEF CREW

thats all i need in my life

11:25pmThor

it's here, man, no real school except summer school

and it's gonna be awesome

11:25pmMe

yeah

i'm surprised that you didn't acknowledge i said aleah

11:26pmThor

i knew you did

11:26pmMe

you wanna know why though?

11:26pmThor

why?

11:27pmMe

its been a while that i've seen you actually happy with her and to be honest, she is able to make the best come out of any bad situation

i need someone like that in my life

11:28pmThor

mhmm

she makes me very happy, dude.

and it's not just sex

11:28pmMe

i know

11:28pmThor

find someone different than you.

then, you can share your experiences with them, and all their experiences are new to you.

it's like going into a maze

and on a side note,

Jennifer Tilly's fucking hot in bride of chucky, man!

11:29pmMe

yeah

dude i know you are trying to lighten my mood but... right now i'm very contemplative right now and to be honest... when i'm thinking and alone is when i'm actually happy

11:30pmThor

ok

it was only a sidenote

11:31pmMe

mm...

i am growing up though...

11:31pmThor

ok

i can't stop you

11:32pmMe

i know man

dude, i know you probably won't like this song buthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoSL_qayMCc

it isn't hip hop or k-pop

its a song that actually suits every emotion that i have in my mind

it calms me when mad, it cheers me when sad, it is the ultimate expression for me

11:33pmThor

hm

i have one of those songs

11:33pmMe

listen to it dude

i think this is becoming one of my favorite songs

11:36pmMe

what do you think?

is this a sign in terms of whats to come in my life?

11:36pmThor

hmm

it's been a while since i've heard a song like it

i believe life is a shot at greatness, and it's up to us to aim it right

songs can help us along, work with our emotions, bring us together to help us achieve these goals...... and i have no clue where i'm going with this

11:38pmMe

dude, what you said, this song represents it all

11:38pmThor

but for some reason, i fucking cry to this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_qgkNGnpL8

11:39pmMe

even when it goes to the part "take this hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now"

dude...

i realized, i don't like rap anymore

11:40pmThor

really?

what do you like?

11:40pmMe

music with a message...

well that and k-pop

11:40pmThor

hahahhahahahah

11:41pmMe

alright i did smirk at the idea

but in all seriousness, i may not like rap anymore, but thats because new rap is terrible

new music is terrivle

terrible*

11:42pmThor

that's kind of funny

11:42pmMe

you hear people talk about "yooo that new eminem is the shit" and i listen to it... its dreadful

11:42pmThor

in my culture, there's a small revival going on, and it's awesome

11:43pmMe

dude, i think i am becoming a music appreciator

i love all music


I'm growing up... and I don't know if i like it or hate it...